don't shoot the messenger...

ducky… is on his way home right now. to a well deserved vacation, home, friends, family, and his suspiciously bisexual girlfriend. let’s start by saying that for having known each other since grade school, they have some serious trust and communication issues to begin with. she thinks he’s cheating on her here (with who?!), he thinks she’s hooking up every time she goes out there. she has a hard time talking to him about some issues, so she’ll call and talk to kase (one of the other dispatchers) and make HIM tell ducky what’s going on. …this is how all this came out in the first place. she couldn’t tell ducky, so she told kase and hung up the phone after asking him to tell ducky. what is this, middle school? how old are we, 12? now, since all the guys have been religiously watching “the L Word”… all he had to say was, “um, hi tim…” for ducky (and everyone else) to get what had been said. btw, there aren’t a whole lot of secrets in a firehouse… but i digress… it gets worse…let me clarify by saying that ducky, in spite of his faults and everything so, so wrong with this relationship… he’s in love with her. enough to push aside his commitment issues… and he potentially has more of those than *i* do. so of course, as the local queer education resource, i get saddled with listening to and sorting out the whole story. it doesn’t look good. red flag 1: she’s slept with more women than men. by far. red flag 2: she’s trying to “stay away from that” or “wean herself off” and red flag 3: she literally referred to ducky as “her rehab”, like he’s going to be her savior. …i think i can feel the collective “uh oh…” from the peanut gallery out there. i’m pretty sure i saw those signs in one of my coming out manuals… under the chapter on “denial”. now, I’ve never so much as talked to her… so shut the hell up, i can’t be blamed for any of this… so i might be misreading something. but the question still stands……how do you tell your friend that his girlfriend bats for the other team?